Glass
by DRoWN.uNTo.Me
Summary: Promise me you won't fall in love with me." It was such an unexpected twist from her in a war they knew they wouldn't survive. And because of her, he did something that would change the course of the second war. Love, Mr. and Mrs. Regulus and Azaria Black


**Glass**

My head rushed with early words, words that even at that time, I knew weren't real. Oh how young we were. What was that? A year ago? Four months? Four bloody months?

_"Before we actually become partners, we need to take care of one thing first, just to make sure that this is purely business despite our past," I said. I had no idea why I was saying this bullshit. I knew that this wasn't going to hold._

_"What's that?" Regulus asked, his arm slung loosely around my shoulder. No one was around to judge us._

_"You need to promise me something."_

_"Oh, you need to promise me something as well."_

_"Promise me you won't fall in love with me," I said quietly._

_"I wouldn't dream of it," _I already do, though. _Regulus laughed, "That's exactly what you need to promise me too."_

_"Oh, well then, I promise not to fall in love with you, Regulus Black." _I'm sorry that it's sort of not really valid because I kind of already am.

…

Never again was it to happen. Not that it _could_ happen again, mind you. Unless someone tampered with their memories, I would not be able to tell my dear Marauders and Lily that I was a Death Eater. "WHAT!" was, of course, the reaction. I was expecting that. But I wasn't expecting to be gagged, bound, thrown in a closet, and staying in the dark for three hours while they deliberated my demise (You would think that they would use their wands…). Oh, yeah, _that_ was fun.

And of course I escaped. That was why I was here now.

And obviously: Regulus was furious.

"YOU DID _WHAT_." _What the __**hell**__ were you thinking?!_

All right, so he wasn't yelling and his voice was quiet, but it was naturally piercing so I flinched. Regulus was in his "mad" stance. He didn't pace or rub his temples like regular people, oh no. He was completely poised, standing with his hands lightly clasped behind his back. He would stand still as a statue, and you would think that he didn't even comprehend anything you said because his expression was relaxed, but then you look into his eyes and BAM! You see a whole bunch of wands pointed at you, the tips of them glowing green.

"Are you keeping something from me? Maybe it's the fact that you're actually an escaped patient from the Mental Instability Ward in St. Mungo's?" _Honestly, did becoming a Death Eater impair your mind or something?!_

Again with the glowing green wands!

"Um, no. You already did a background check on me, remember?" _I know what I'm doing. It's nice to know that you trust my judgment._

Playing stupid? No. Playing along.

"Oh. Of course. So are you just an idiot?" _I _did_ trust your judgment, but what you just did makes me question your sanity- and your grades from Hogwarts. Did you Confund our teachers or something?_

Oh screw it. It's not like I could win against him anyway.

"More or less?" _Hey! I worked for my brilliant grades! I am perfectly sane…maybe not in my relationships, but I know what I'm doing._

It was supposed to come out as a strong statement, not a fading question.

"My evaluation brings me to the conclusion of more," he said dryly. _You are being ridiculous!_

"Heh…" I had nothing else to say. _Maybe. But you just don't understand._

His statue-like stance wavered as he took a step towards the fireplace. _Why don't you explain?_

I took that as my cue to leave. I was facing the open doorway. _Because I know that you just don't _get_ some things._

"You are no longer good for spying." _Did you really have to tell them?_

I think he knew that I nodded my head slowly, because he continued. _I felt that I had to._

"You do realize, I hope, that they may very well likely kill you now." _And you're forcing me to watch that. I hope you're happy._

I turned away from the door and looked to his direction. His back was to me. He stared at the fire. I stared at him.

_At least I know that you'll be okay. At least I know you're good. And at least I know that you love me too, even if you won't tell me, or even if you don't actually know it. And how do I know all this? Because you said "they", and not "we". Thank you, Regulus._

I wanted to say that. I should tell him that.

"I do."

Damn it! Why is it that I can never say anything deep out loud?

"And you realize that when they try to kill you, you won't be able to get away." _Why are you saying thank you? If you really wanted to thank me, you wouldn't have told them the truth and we wouldn't ever have to have this conversation. Don't you know that the only reason I'm surviving is because you are with me? You'll only be able to postpone your death for so long._

I took one slight step towards him.

_I know you care, Reggie, thank you. You really are a great guy._

"I do."

_And I will take it with a high head and open arms. I will embrace it. When I leave, it will be on my terms. I will be proud. Because there's nothing else I have to say. My lies are out. My life is no longer attached to anyone. Well, there's you, Regulus, but we know that neither of us will ever admit it._

"Very well, then." _How can you let yourself die? How can you let me go through this alone?_

That was my dismissal.

That's how it was with us. We never said what we meant. We would've sounded stupid. We would've sounded weak. We would've sounded like we cared- and everyone knows that we can't do that. It's not like we needed to say what we meant anyway. He was like glass to me. I could see straight through him, and I'm sure I was like that to him too- until now. I think that this little action was someone's breath fogging up the glass, turning it less translucent, more opaque.

I was at the threshold, only just inside the room. I heard Regulus shift by the fireplace. I turned back to look at him one last time, his silhouette was sharply defined by the glowing flames. He slowly turned to look at me. I took in his handsome face, wanting to fall into him. I reached my hand out slowly, to caress his face from 6 feet away. His eyes fluttered closed as he imagined that hand, that touch.

"I love you," I whispered, then fled.

I had to get out of there before my words consumed me, before I could hurt more than I already did (though I didn't exactly see how that was possible), before I could see his frame crumple- before he could tell me the same. That way he could keep his promise to me, even if I already broke mine.

…

_But he didn't think that he'd lose her so soon. And she didn't know that he had already broken his promise._

…

"I'm doing this for you," Regulus panted under his breath, rowing to the island.

"Master Regulus?" Kreacher asked timidly.

He didn't respond, nor did he spare his house elf a final look as they reached the island, a glowing basin atop it.

"I will drink it for you, Master!" Kreacher cried, jumping up from the boat and dashing to the container.

"Stop," Regulus commanded, walking forward as the creature stopped in mid-stride.

He knelt down to eye-level with his devoted house elf.

"You will do no such thing," he told Kreacher quietly.

Hot, ugly tears ran down the elf's wrinkled face as his Master stood and turned from him, conjuring a cup and dipping it into the glowing green liquid.

"Kreacher, heed what I say. It is with utmost importance that you speak to no one of my disloyalty, unless they are the ones who will stop that hideous fool named Voldemort. Listen carefully," Regulus said forcefully, once he turned and saw the tears welling from the poor creature's glassy eyes.

His focus deviated for a minute when he thought, _glass_, but then recovered in less than a millisecond.

"Take the locket and place this replicate in replacement of it. _Listen Kreacher_," he persisted as Kreacher came close to wailing, "You _must_ find a way to destroy the locket. Destroy the locket, and you will have done not only me, but the entire wizarding world a great favor, in which you should be very much respected."

Kreacher couldn't take much more of this. His Master was saying that _he_ should be _respected_.

Regulus Black placed a heavy hand on his house elf's head and stared at its huge, glimmering eyes, making sure that his words were imprinted deeply into his mind.

Quicker than James Potter catching a snitch, the young Black whirled around and gulped down a goblet of potion.

It took affect immediately, his throat starting to burn.

Distantly, he heard the muffled shrieks of his dear, faithful servant.

Goblet after goblet he went, drinking deeply as though it was Firewhiskey and he had just lost Azaria.

Oh, his sweet, sweet Azaria. They had killed her after all, but they both had known that would happen. He ignored the pain and focused solely on her brilliant face, her gentle hands, her intoxicating smell, her lilting laugh. He focused on everything before this war had started, the Before when he and Sirius were the best of brothers, the Before when they still had the chance to laugh.

After every gulp- Azaria.

After every action of his body to regurgitate the potion- Azaria- and he kept it in.

After every dip of his cup into the potion- Azaria.

Harry Potter and those that knew of Regulus' part in the downfall of Voldemort may think that he had done this for them, to save them.

It wasn't.

It was all for Azaria.

In his note, he had even written _RAB_. If only they could have gotten married. His closed eyes burned with unshed tears.

_Regulus and Azaria Black_


End file.
